My first husband
The one that got away. That's how I think of my first husband, Roger. But how could I not pine? Just look at that smile!Roger was what I like to call "barbecue friendly." And before he faked his own death and moved to Tampa, he was a whiz with the barbecue tongs. Frequently, he'd scour the fridge for veggies, roast them on the grill, add them to a piece of flat bread and -- a dash of tomato sauce later -- he had a perfectly acceptable alfresco pizza dinner, suitable even for our Protestant friends!
When I think of Roger, I think of one thing: skid marks. The man loved to drive fast. And that often caused laundry issues at our house. To this day, I can't pass a bottle of bleach without thinking of him.
Roger, if you're out there, please write... I-I miss you.
posted by The hostess | 5:09 PM
4 Comments:
Ahh, I think I saw him, in the laundry aisle at the Servs-U-Rite, mooning wistfully in front of the bleach. I say wistfully, because his moons were looking kinda ragged, if you know what I mean.
Did he have a particularly angry-looking rash? If so, that definately Roger. Please tell him I miss him, and I've continued to pick up his drycleaning these 20-odd years...
Hey Hun, it is me Roger. Damn, long time no see,, I miss you and I am glad you cleaned up your right tooth. I know I done wrong by you, I left Tampa, and moved to Dunkirk Indiana. I sell used cars during the day,, do bible reading seminars, with the church chicks that I have met at my church. The cash is good. they love Jesus and beer and chips.
I have changed,I really have. I quit driving fast and my new apartment has a shower.
You look hot and you are still wearing the frames I helped you pick out,,,,,, Have you seen Talledega Nights? I loved it, but it was kinda hard to understand.
Damn Girl,,,, I miss you,
Roger
I would talk more, but the church chicks are pulling up,,, got to go,,,, I am thinking of getton one of those cell phones things, will you call me,, gotta go, there here
Roger,,,,,,Hun I made it and I am there for you.
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